and then i go numb.

Remember how I'm in denial? Well I'm even more so now. I just found out that a woman I was close to was killed when her church collapsed in Haiti yesterday. I'm not really sure how to deal with her passing, and she left two children behind in Haiti (1 (who I used to babysit) and 10) whom are now being taken care of by a 12 and 13/14 year old.

I just wish there was more I could do. But sometimes I feel like I'm not doing anything at all.

Be a better person, at least.

Something... something.

L’Éternel est mon berger:

je ne manquerai de rien.

Il me fait reposer dans le

I hope you’re lying in green pastures.

You know, they read that

psalm at the wake,

the deacons and the deaconesses

walking single file into the church.

It wasn’t a large affair,

I mean, it was a big church

but the service was small, humble, like you.

The pastor was supposed to console us.

I guess in a way he did, how he kept

rambling on about the night.

I wanted him to say something like

“It’s when it gets as dark as it can get

the stars come out.” But he didn’t.

He just kept going on and on about the night.

I wonder what souls look like:

where they go. Is yours a wanderer?

Is it floating, an effervescent bubble,

Like the one she just popped by

coming into my room and asking questions?

You can’t ask Death questions like

Why? or What are you doing?

I read once that Death is like

a blind man, pointing a bony finger…

something like that.

I pray for your soul.

That it isn’t just out there,

that it has found a resting place,

that you have found a resting place,

where Death can’t interrupt anymore.

[rest in peace sister jacqueline.]

i wrote this poem two years ago almost to the day.

it still resonates. death is never really that far away.